now near

 
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Salt between thumb and nail

I feel pain

But the world witnesses

Numb

It cries

But at white noise

and a black framed glow

No longer we pass through living curtains

Hugs are taken by unsurity

Too hard I sense the floor beneath

It buckles when I do

Tired when I am

I am left standing

Tied by red wool in a Japanese hand

I am sooo white in this landscape

That I often wonder… “whose legs…I am looking at??”

There are millions of smiles here

I just forgot the words

Allocated to them

I am fine!

Things are going well

Do not fear

It’s always a mixture with me

A concoction of admiration, love and confusion

Thirty years now, this won’t end…  I am

But my ribs meet each other

The lack of space is a sign

All is well

Sorry for the pain

Sorry for the …. Far

now

we, the fish finders

 My body relents

to the ease

allowing moments to slide in

glide past

Kick out

and ripple in fluid weaves

Everything slips away…

I feel grace

Strong

Light

Beauty

Like a fish

Lane by lane

we escape

gulping in the closing of the day

As coloured heads and bug eyes

Bop up and down into the falling light

that ripples across the skin

I only wish I could simultaneously write

Ink streaming from my belly across the blue silent floor

Song lines, thoughts, meanderings

drop out from my abdomen as I open my legs

Push

and glide, strong

Stringing a chorus across the warn fibre glass floor

I search for words

Secrets left behind

At Casuarina I find love

Parap has a penis

Markers to how far I have come

Distracted by my happy ponderings

I lift my head and dive in, cocky

slicing through with an obscure tilt

A searing moment shoots up through to my brain

Sharp as acid

Coming back to the surface, I am crying

I have been here before…

So next time I stay down for longer

dropping heavy and relishing a wolrd without painful breath

Reaching the end I blow my nose into the water

There is noone around…

Condition

 Let’s talk about disease

Condition

Disease

I eat it for breakfast

Every day 8 tabs

And you?

It’s a killer, it’s a lover, it’s a mother

Every day I choose life…

And you?

A girl fell from a waterfall

I cried

Since then I cling to life

We fall

and rain laughs in our wake

I tell myself no more tears

But age tells me to cry

and I curl into it like life

I feed and laugh

 For both to come

We grieve

We grieve

but not you, your mum and sister should never have been take away

Ever

EVER

There is pain in my palms as I play the keyboard like song

I cry and hurt for this land

I cry

and I feel fingertips touch

we will lie still now

this is how it is… bodies defy odds everyday

and only doctors look like idiots then!

smells like teen spirit

 I could explode

I could be a bulimic vomit on your shoe

I could dance and scream and run and fly……..

There is unsolved equation in my bones

they cross and calculate but wither and die

They thin

When you stopped listening

Don’t lie in my face you mother fucking cunt

Don’t lie so still in this morning light

I might draw red from your throat

and claim teenage idolism

I might be drastic and stereotypical just to love you

And how embarrassing would that be?

between concrete cracks

 Driven!

by a scream that holds my throat

Her wrists are tight

She laughs in small circles

My bed a converbelt

for lust finding a home

We

are

emptiness

She falls to all fours

Tears

are sold on the market like snake eyes!

We were all once children supporting soldiers

Remove my skin    and

your smell will arise

from my pores, if I lie long enough

to drip

drip

drip

We are empty

test tubes

in

a

production line

My spine is crying

through teeth of gloss

in print

I am hot!

We are not the “left”

I won’t say please

You try…

to empty your hardness into my palms

but my skin can only absorb love

we pummel each other like gall bladders on an old winters day

pummel

loafers of our resignation

beauty in seeing a body get old…

sometimes I put my fingers inside and wonder if we will ever make it that far…

and then I cry

in a voice unknown to me

like my mother is in my womb and I inturn birth her

with each push I die

and live

we are not falling but growing upwards

between concrete cracks

a new one

 

Around and fallen

Dipped into

Clavical like a linger

Words can’t compete

There is too much dichotomy between them

they lay bored on the nylon tiles

And sing of a dream

We are all shaken

Fallen from a pear tree…

Beaten by the stick that!

Hoists the lazy hippy ass up

Toooo feed

There is a volume!

Between us… and them

There is a space, that Mexican waves

Upon ITself

Empty cups

Never get lifted

From anybodies!     table

Even if you were white

And love was black

Craniums often vomit

Mainly because they ate too many legumes

But the V man always did register as the “none too wiser”

Druken dribble

Tiredness (calms/falls/dies/rests/lays…it settles)

Polo?

 

I met my awareness in the pool

Sliding in

Slippery

Cool

Hello

Skin shaped by liquid hands

My mind wonders

Take your shorts off

Solo man

I see my flesh

A bubble

Floatable devise

White

Misshapen

Boobs

Curved

Long

Strong

A mood takes over

Joy

liberation

Whilst anxiety

Sweeps over me

They are the women of the sun

I

sing blinded

Marco?

Polo?