a hook undone

I grasp hold of this momentarily
Sliding
This darkness is wet
And my skin slips beneath rain filled skies

This city sets me adrift
And outside of humanity I float
Without a buoy
I am lost at sea

You wave
From your cherry bathed skin
And your knicker bocker smiles
Unaware
Of the fear
That circles below me
Schooled in grey and racked with razor sharp teeth

The drowning goes unnoticed
Because I am too shy to make a splash
My calls fall silent beneath this surface
It’s glassy hand held softly over
Lazy lips

A man is drowning
A boat floats by and offers savior
“god will save thee”
he has faith
a second boat floats by
bigger
“here son grab this rope”
“god will save thee”
[repeat]
he drowns
at the pearly gates he questions gods ability to rescue a son
“I sent ya two goddam boats”

I laugh
Awkwardly loud
In the back of my throat
which I swallow with a noisy beetroot
I wish didn’t exist!

Out windows
I see a different life
Through glass framed
I escape
In shadows I cry

My teeth ache when I wake
Like I have been punched by lethargy in the gums

I wash this away in ritual survival
I gargle my emphasis and spit it in bubbles down slow moving drains
My emptiness clogs these pipes
It’s destitution fills it’s steel throat like cement
‘Harden the fuck up’
The plumbing mumbles back at me
I swill
And spit

The décor drips with the need of change
And the house reeks of forgotten flesh

Desperate
We seek each other out
All teeth and gums
The union is never Hollywood
When lonely laps collapse into fumbled grasps
A hook undone
A boot left falling
A stocking half removed
A fantasy as grimy as a squat shower curtain
A hurried escape through vicious grinding

Release this soul
Undo the buttons placed across broken lips
Smother me in scented sighs
Let me fly with you in my hands